


Worst Best Year Ever

by OldChum



Category: Big Four - Fandom, Brave (2012), Frozen (2013), How to Train Your Dragon (Movies), Rise of The Brave Tangled Dragons - Fandom, Rise of the Guardians (2012), Tangled (2010)
Genre: Comedy, Coming of Age (but with wizards!), Crossover, F/M, Friendship, Hogwarts AU, Teen Stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-25
Updated: 2015-06-07
Packaged: 2018-04-01 03:10:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4003582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OldChum/pseuds/OldChum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack and Hiccup prepare for their lamest year of wizard school yet, Flynn Rider tries to stay alive (harder than it looks), Merida argues with her mother, Rapunzel breaks all the rules in her very important Rule Book, and Anna falls in love with a guy she just met.</p>
<p>Hogwarts is magical, but it doesn't change destinies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Completely Original Idea: Taking popular animated characters, putting them all in one universe, and making that universe Hogwarts! I'm a genius!
> 
> So, okay, I didn't invent the wheel here. Hopefully you'll all enjoy it anyway!
> 
> Also, it's in script format, because that's the fastest form of writing for me, and a lot of dialogue whizzes through my brain for this one.

  


  


Montage of HOGWARTS EXT. NIGHT. At the end of a long day’s travel, the returning students are being led to the coaches to take them to the fairy tale of the warmly lit castle.

HICCUP V.O: This is the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It’s the cosmic middle of the magical world, where everybody spends their golden youth doing amazing things. Like getting locked in supply closets…

Hiccup, in Ravenclaw colours, gets stuffed into a dingy closet full of dirty mops by a laughing Snotlout in Slytherin colours.

 HICCUP V.O. CONTINUED: Or trying to avoid being eaten by their textbooks…

Before the start of the new school year, Stoic drops Hiccup’s school supplies on the table in front of him as he passes by. Hiccup unwraps Care of Magical Creatures and it goes nuts on him.

HICCUP V.O. CONTINUED: And being constantly, constantly reminded that they can’t go into the forest – that’s it, there, the big group of trees that’s literally fifteen minutes from where we sleep – because it means sudden death…

Pan from the castle to the tree line of the forest, where strange shadows can be seen lurking in the darkness.

HICCUP V.O. CONTINUED: Pretty much everything around here means sudden death. But if you ask any adult wizard, they’ll be sure to tell you that these are the best years of our lives. And I can’t think of anything more depressing than that.

Hiccup and Jack Frost get off the Hogwarts express. Hiccup is neatly dressed in full Ravenclaw uniform, while Jack is only wearing his shirt, tie and trousers. The cuffs of his trousers are rolled up to show his bare feet, which leave a faint chill wherever he steps.

HICCUP: You can’t _not_ pick electives! The letter said you needed at least two!

JACK: Oh, come on. What are they going to do, throw me out?

HICCUP: No, Jack. They’ll pick for you. And the next thing you know, you’re casting shadow magic in the dungeon or braiding Yetis, and I’ll have to spend another year listening to you trying to decide if you hate Professor Pitch more than you hate Professor North.

JACK: It’s definitely North. Or, no wait, it probably _is_ Pitch.

Hiccup looks around, clearly over that part of the conversation.

HICCUP: Where’s Fishlegs?

He sees Fishlegs, in Hufflepuff colours, talking with some older Hufflepuffs.

HICCUP: There he is. Fishlegs!

Hiccup waves. Fishlegs nervously waves back.

HUFFLEPUFF ONE: Who’s that kid?

HUFFLEPUFF TWO: I think he’s the one who cried when they put him in the sorting hat.

FLASHBACK. Hiccup in the Great Hall with the sorting hat on his head. Tears are streaming down his face.

SORTING HAT: Oh dear. Oh my. You seem like you belong a little bit everywhere and a little bit nowhere, now let me see, this shouldn’t take me too much longer…

HICCUP V.O: That was pretty stressful. And can I just remind everyone that deciding the foundation of somebody’s personality when they’re _eleven_ is really difficult and probably not a good idea? I would also appreciate it if people could remember me for a different reason.

FISHLEGS (to his new friends): I’ll be back in a minute, just gotta talk to those guys about something.

He goes over to Hiccup and Jack.

FISHLEGS: Hey guys.

HICCUP: Hey! Where were you on the train? We saved you a seat.

FISHLEGS: Oh. Yeah. That was nice. Um, look, Hiccup. Jack. I don’t want you guys to feel bad, but I think I have a shot at being… normal this year. Like, fitting in and stuff. And, so, um, we can’t hang out anymore. But I really don’t want you to feel bad! You should be happy! For me! Because I’m moving up in the world! So, um, goodbye forever.

Fishlegs goes back to his new friends. Jack looks amused, while Hiccup stands there in stunned, semi-appalled silence.

HICCUP: I can’t believe it. Fishlegs got too cool for us.

Jack laughs.

JACK: Maybe he got too cool for you, but nobody can get cooler than Jack Frost.

Jack catches a wind current and lounges mid-air, floating alongside a dejected Hiccup who’s heading to their coach.

HICCUP V.O: Yeah, this is definitely going to be the worst year of my life.

 

* * *

  


 

At the Great Hall, everyone is settling in for the feast, the tables bustling with activity.

FLYNN V.O: My name is Flynn Rider, and this is the story of the best year of my life. There’s action, tragedy, near-death experiences, and a million snarling, vicious bears. A horse tries to flunk me out of an elective course, and I almost get expelled because I punch a Crown Prince in the crown jewels. So, how is it that this is the _best_ year of my life, you ask? (Having noticed that all of those things sound like terrible experiences.) Well, answering that, my friends, would spoil the surprise.

Flynn plunks down at the Gryffindor table, and stares across it, looking angry and displeased. He stays like that for a long while, as activity continues to bustle around behind him. Finally, we see he’s staring at Merida, who is staring right back at him. They have a stare-off, where Merida tries a bunch of different expressions, in the hopes that one will encourage Flynn to explain his actions, but then finally rolls her eyes.

Merida: (With theatrical obviousness) Is something the matter, Flynn?

Flynn: Your mother has forced me to take Care of Magical Creatures. And Ancient Runes.

Merida: Well, I did warn you. You had an entire summer to pick, and you didn’t. Just like last year.

Flynn: What are you taking?

Merida: Toymaking.

Flynn: That’s just one.

Merida: Oh, well. Being captain of the Quidditch team excuses me from a second elective. And, of course, if you were to join the team, it would excuse you as well. I arranged it all with Professor North. When we were discussing my enthusiasm for toymaking.

Flynn: You don’t have an enthusiasm for toymaking.

Merida: Of course I do! I love to see the look of joy on wee faces when they open their glittery parcels of Christmas magic. Almost as much as I love winning at Quidditch. That said, we do need a new keeper this year, but I suppose someone’ll come along.

Flynn gives his stony-unimpressed look.

Merida: I hear Ancient Runes is a heavily academic course…

Flynn: (Still unimpressed) When are tryouts?

Merida: Saturday morning. Seven o’clock. Don’t be late.

Flynn looks puzzled.

Flynn: (To himself) They put a seven o’clock in _the morning_? When did _that_ happen?

The Hall quiets down as everyone finishes taking their seats. Around the part of the Gryffindor table where Flynn and Merida are sitting, are also Anna and Astrid. Deputy Headmistress Elinor, in Slytherin green, takes to the podium. A full moon streams light through the floor-length windows behind her.

Elinor: Welcome to another precious year of education…

Merida rolls her eyes and slams her head against the table. Elinor glances at her disapprovingly, clears her throat and carries on with her speech.

Elinor: To those of you first walking these hallowed halls, steeped in history, tradition and pride, I say: Welcome. May your journey here be fruitful and filled with many new friends and memories that you will cherish for all your life. To those of you returning, I would like to kindly remind each and every one of you that MAGIC IS NOT A TOY. And if any of you – _any of you_ – are caught dueling in the hallways this year, you’ll find yourselves…

  


* * *

  


Pan over the staff table. Bunnymund, head of Hufflepuff, is sitting next to North, head of Gryffindor. North is watching Elinor’s speech with a polite smile.

NORTH V.O: When you first look at her, is hard to believe she changes into a bear. Then she talks, and is not so hard after all.

Montage of all the wondrous empty classrooms and magical nooks and crannies of Hogwarts.

NORTH V.O: Hogwarts is a very special place. Not because of magic, or because of teachers, but because of students. Children who are learning the magic that is inside of them, not just the magic that is in the world. It is our job to guide them into adults, show them how to carry belief and dreams not just when it is easiest, but through all their lives. Even when things are sad, or dangerous, or very boring like in tax season. Wizards do taxes! Everybody has to do taxes! Even me, but I make yetis look after it.

Back to the staff table. North, looks distracted, and glances over his shoulder at the moon. The light is brightening ever-so-subtly and falling in a strange way.

NORTH V.O: This is the year. I feel it in my belly. Something is going to happen.

Shadows curl around the bottom of the table, coming from the other side of the room. Bunnymund nudges North to notice them. North leans back to look behind Elinor. Pitch is sitting on the opposite end of the staff table, he raises a glass to North and Bunnymund, and sips.

NORTH V.O: I cannot say if it will be good or bad, but it will be important.

The moonlight lands on Jack at the Hufflepuff table, and Elsa at the Slytherin table.

Everyone is applauding for Elinor’s speech.

NORTH V.O: One thing I do know. This is the beginning of an adventure.


	2. Chapter 2

Hiccup is walking down the corridors with his arms full of books, when a spell blasts in front of him and across the hall.

SPELLCASTER: Look out! Sorry!

The spell collides with a first year Gryffindor, Jamie Bennett, who gets swept up in a soft mini-tornado of leaves and green earth magic. It’s harmless, but he’s a little scared.

Jack glides down the stairs, and sees him. He floats over the banister, pulls Jamie out of the twister, and sets him on the ground.

JACK: Gotta be careful. The wind’s a tricky friend to have.

Jack pats him on the head. Jamie is clearly impressed.

JAMIE: Wow.

JACK: What’s your name?

JAMIE: Jamie. Jamie Bennett.

JACK: Jamie Bennett, enjoy your first year, okay? Make it fun.

Hiccup waves to Jack who makes his way over, Jamie watching him go.

JAMIE: (Softly, to himself) Wow.

Jack looks annoyed as he gets to Hiccup, sticking his hands in his pockets and slouching.

HICCUP: What did they do? Hold you over a vat of acid?

JACK: Worse. First, Bunnymund chews me out for not making a selection and tells me – for the hundredth time – that I’m not ‘Hufflepuff material.’ Then North gives me the whole ‘sometimes the hat makes mistakes, you can be a Gryffindor, we’ll ask the Headmaster and it’ll be okay’ speech. Again. And then they tell me that there’s only room in divination, so I’m thinking that I’ll only have to take one course…

HICCUP: Which was probably your plan all along.

JACK: Probably. Who knows? But then, and this is where it gets stupid, Bunnymund tells me I’ll have to be seeker on our Quidditch team to make up my second elective.

Hiccup stops walking and looks puzzled.

HICCUP: I thought you wanted to play seeker this year.

JACK: Yeah. I did. Until Bunnymund made it an academic requirement.

HICCUP: _Why_ are you in Hufflepuff?

JACK: I don’t know. Maybe the hat was tired after having to deal with you.

Jack grins and walks backwards into the Great Hall, which is bustling with activity and tables decorated with club banners. Toothiana, a seventh-year in Gryffindor colours, is coordinating a group of first-and-second-years from various houses, who seem to be following her like a general.

One of them, a Gryffindor first-year with a beauty mark under her eye, comes up to Hiccup and Jack.

BABY TOOTH: Welcome to club day! Um, you should look around and see all the great clubs you can join! But if you don’t want to join any, that’s okay!

Baby Tooth nods, and flits off to another pair of students walking in.

Jack smiles and points after her.

JACK: I like her better than most of the minions. Can’t put my finger on why.

HICCUP: Probably because every other time we’ve come to this thing, we’ve been told that if we didn’t join a club we were horrible people who’d die horrible deaths.

JACK: That might be it.

 

* * *

 

Merida and Astrid are sitting a table with a sign that says FEMINIST STUDIES OF THE WIZARDING COMMUNITY. They’re calling out to passers-by.

MERIDA: Come and learn about the horrors of a patriarchal magic society and its effect on expectations for young Witches!

ASTRID: Lectures begin in January, so there’s plenty of time for other clubs!

MERIDA: Everyone is welcome!

Flynn saunters over.

FLYNN: Sign me up.

Merida and Astrid’s faces fall.

ASTRID: No.

FLYNN: But you just said that everyone is welcome.

ASTRID: Everyone who actually wants to participate. You’re just signing up so that girls will think you’re sensitive, and you’ll get more dates.

Flynn looks hurt.

FLYNN: I really care about these issues, Astrid. Please put my name on the list.

ASTRID: No.

FLYNN: Don’t make me smoulder.

MERIDA: Fine. Put him down. Maybe he’ll learn something.

ASTRID: If you ruin this, Flynn, I will castrate you.

FLYNN: That’s fighting those feminist stereotypes! Keep up the good work!

Flynn grabs the sign-up sheet and glances over it.

FLYNN: What kind of name is Rapunzel?

MERIDA: That’s her, over there.

Flynn looks over and sees only the back of Rapunzel in her Hufflepuff uniform.

FLYNN: Do you think she has enough hair?

MERIDA: Give me back that sign-up sheet. You’re actually not welcome.

Flynn pouts and hands back the clipboard.

MERIDA: Come and learn about the horrors of a patriarchal magic society and its effect on expectations for young Witches!

ASTRID: Everyone is welcome! Except FLYNN RIDER!

Flynn slumps off. He makes his way over to Kristoff, a Hufflepuff sitting at a very make-shift booth that says CARIBOU CLUB.

Flynn nods at the sign.

FLYNN: What’s this?

KRISTOFF: Well, we hang out in the stables with a reindeer. And eat carrots.

FLYNN: Everybody doesn’t get their own reindeer?

KRISTOFF: We don’t have the budget.

FLYNN: Yeah. So. Good luck.

KRISTOFF: Thanks.

 

* * *

 

Tooth is hurrying around the various booths, when Anna stumbles into her.

TOOTH: Ooops!

ANNA: Sorry! There’s a lot of people in here!

TOOTH: Oh, it’s okay! As long as you’re signing up for a club. Clubs are terrific. They help you learn about new things and meet new people from other houses, and broaden your horizons! Everyone should join a club!

ANNA: Wow, you’re really enthusiastic.

TOOTH: YES! I am!

ANNA: That’s great!

A bunch of the little tooth-fairy first years swarm Tooth and begin to ask her for instructions. Anna slips away and finds herself at the Chocolate Tasting Club. She’s about to grab the pen, when her hand lands on someone else’s. She pulls back and looks into the smiling face of Gryffindor Hans.

HANS: Hi.

ANNA: Sorry! I just got excited. I really like chocolate.

HANS: Yeah, me too.

ANNA: Um, I’m Anna. We have lunch at the same table, but it’s a really big table, so you probably didn’t notice me. I sit closer to the door than you do, on the left-hand side. Under a chandelier.

Hans chuckles warmly.

HANS: I’ve seen you. You’re Elsa’s sister, right? She’s in my year. We have classes.

Anna seems startled.

ANNA: Does she ever, um, talk to you?

HANS: Elsa? Elsa doesn’t really talk to anybody.

ANNA: Oh. Yeah. She’s… shy.

HANS: You’re not.

ANNA: No! I’m worse than shy! I’m clumsy and loud and awkward and I try to use pens that people are already holding!

HANS: I don’t mind.

ANNA: (Adoringly) You don’t?

HANS: Not at all. I’ll see you at Chocolate Club.

ANNA: Bye.

She watches dreamily as he goes.

 

* * *

 

Hiccup is reading over the Dueling Club safety rules, when Jack nudges him in the ribs.

JACK: Check it out. The future Mrs. Kid-Who-Cried-At-Sorting is signing up for something.

Hiccup whips around.

HICCUP: Astrid? Where? Huh? I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t have a crush on anybody.

JACK: Okay, well, Astrid – who you don’t have a crush on, so it’s weird you said her name – is right over there.

Hiccup takes a deep breath.

HICCUP: New year. New beginnings. I’m gonna go over and say hello.

Mustering his courage, Hiccup makes his way over to the booth Astrid’s at. There’s a cluster of people blocking the sign. Astrid sees him and nods.

ASTRID: Hiccup, right?

Hiccup blushes, nods tightly, and glances at the sign-up sheet. He puts his name down and smiles awkwardly at Astrid.

HICCUP: (High-pitched) See you around.

He practically runs back to where Jack is waiting with a beaming smile on his face.

JACK: Did you talk to her?

HICCUP: Barely. I choked. I don’t even know what I signed up for.

Jack grabs him by the shoulders and spins him around. The crowd around the booth sign has dissipated, and Hiccup can read it: DRAGON FIGHTING.

He looks like he’s going to throw up.

Jack pats him on the back and grins.

* * *

 

Elsa is standing apart from the crowds, watching them mill around the booths and make decisions. She smiles as she sees Anna asking questions at Merida’s station and signing up. From the shadows in the corner behind her, Pitch emerges and stands next to her.

ELSA: (Politely) Good afternoon, Professor.

PITCH: Not joining any of the clubs?

ELSA: I prefer to focus on my studies. But it’s nice to see all of the different things a person can become interested in.

PITCH: Oh, but surely you must have some hobbies outside of the classroom. And it is a good way to make new acquaintances. We mustn’t become lonely, Elsa. Or then we will simply become alone.

Elsa nods reluctantly and makes her way into the group. 


	3. Chapter 3

 

 

The morning of the Gryffindor Quidditch try-outs. Merida is in her captain’s gear, while everyone else is just in work-out clothes. A group, containing Anna, Flynn and Cupcake, are hanging around waiting to show their stuff. Merida looks them over.

MERIDA: (To Cupcake) What year are you?

CUPCAKE: First.

MERIDA: You’re too wee. You know the rules. Come back next year, and we’ll be proud to have you.

CUPCAKE: That’s not fair!

MERIDA: Aye, it’s fair. First years all take flying lessons, and in those lessons you learn Quidditch maneuvers as second nature. By next year, you’ll be an ace. Trained and ready. And like I said, we’ll be proud to have you. I can tell.

CUPCAKE: (Disappointed) Okay.

Merida caves a little bit.

MERIDA: But, if you want to come to practice sessions and learn how it’s all done, nobody’ll stop you. Schedule goes up in the common room on Monday morning.

Cupcake smiles, nods, and runs off to tell her friends. Merida goes to take her place standing next to Astrid, a current chaser, ready to address the remaining newcomers.

ASTRID: (Quietly, to Merida) Softy.

MERIDA: I’m not in the habit of crushing dreams.

Merida clears her throat.

MERIDA: (To the group) Right. Flynn, you’re keeper. Nobody else is here for the position, so it’s yours.

FLYNN: (Scoffs nervously) You don’t even know if I can do it!

MERIDA: You’re big enough to block the goals, and we’re good enough to keep things away from you. It’ll be fine. The rest of you are in two groups, Beaters and Chasers. Chasers, you’ll be tested by Astrid. Beaters, you’re with me.

Anna raises her hand.

ANNA: I don’t know which group I should be in.

MERIDA: Well, you’re a bit dainty, so start with the Chasers and see how it goes.

ANNA: Okay.

 

* * *

 

In the bleachers, Jack is watching the try-outs below, with a notepad/sketchbook in hand. Hiccup hikes up the steps and plunks down next to him.

JACK: Hey. Took you long enough.

HICCUP: Why are we here?

JACK: Because if I’m going to play Quidditch, I’m going to be awesome at it, and that means scoping out the competition. Which means spying on Merida. It looks like Rider’s finally keeper, which isn’t going to make the Slytherins happy.

HICCUP: Is he good?

JACK: Apparently, he’s amazing.

HICCUP: Then how come he hasn’t played until now?

JACK: Because the Stabbington brothers have been paying him off so that Slytherin can keep the cup.

HICCUP: I guess he doesn’t need the money anymore.

Jack nods at Astrid.

JACK: Oh look. It’s Astrid.

HICCUP: She’s a really good player. Strong and graceful. Like a valkyrie. You should watch out for her.

Jack chuckles.

JACK: Oh man.

HICCUP: What?

JACK: Nothing.

 They watch the figures of players below, and catch sight of Anna, among the Chasers, spiraling through the air with a stray ball coming at her. She stops dead and knocks the ball away with her bare hands before it can hit her. The ball richocets down the field and knocks Flynn on the top of the head, flattening him onto the ground in a dazed stupor.

ANNA: (Calling distantly) Sorry! Oh no! Sorry! Sorry!

HICCUP: Who’s _that_?

JACK: I don’t know, but she’s terrifying.

 

* * *

 

On the field, people are crowding around the semi-conscious Flynn and asking if he’s okay, while Anna continually apologizes. Astrid runs over to Merida, both of them visibly excited.

ASTRID: Did you see that?

MERIDA: Aye! Looks like we’ve finally got a decent beater!


	4. Chapter 4

Elsa and her Slytherin classmates are filing into the History of Magic Classroom, with Merida’s Gryffindors loping along behind them. It’s a rainy afternoon, and Elsa keeps her head down and her gloved hands folded in front of her. People keep their distance, but not maliciously. There’s just no use trying to get to know Elsa.

Everyone sits at their desks, the Slytherins on one side of the room and the Gryffindors on the other. They’re all chattering, waiting for their instructor, when the rain picks up and the clouds get darker, until they’re almost black and the room is drench in thick shadow.

People start to glance around nervously, but Elsa just stares at the top of her desk and waits.

Pitch’s voice arrives before he does.

PITCH: At the beginning of all magic, there was darkness. There was the night.

The shadows at the back of the class stretch into Pitch’s form, and he walks between the desks, startling his already on-edge students.

PITCH: There was fear. Pitiful muggles huddled around their campfires, or cowered in their mud-and-stone cottages, and they knew not to stray too far from the light. Because the night held the witching hours. Oh. The _witching_ hours. You see, back then, the only way to _use_ magic, to manipulate our natural power, was to embrace the darkness. Embrace the strength of nightmares.

Still weaving through the room, Pitch stops at Merida’s desk and glances down at her.

PITCH: Magic was more primal. There were costs, and those costs were capricious. It was not something that anyone with a certain inclination could do. It needed to be harnessed.

He crosses the room and passes in front of Elsa.

PITCH: And true power still does.

 

* * *

 

Exterior of the Hogwarts Greenhouse, shaken by a tremendous shout.

BUNNYMUND: WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU DOING?!

Inside, Jack is quickly trying to cover up the frost on the windows and several of the plant boxes.

JACK: Nothing. Everything’s fine. Don’t you have a lesson to teach?

Bunnymund hops up in front of Jack and narrows his eyes.

BUNNYMUND: Oh, I’ve got a lesson, mate. A real easy one, but I think you need a quick remedial course. Question number one: What is the function of a greenhouse?

Jack is uncomfortable, but he tries to laugh it off.

JACK: Um, to grow plants?

BUNNYMUND: And how come we don’t grow those plants outside, _mate_?

JACK: Because… they’d die?

BUNNYMUND: And _why_ would they die?

Jack shrugs.

JACK: Who knows? Nature’s fickle. I guess.

BUNNYMUND: Guess what happens when you introduce frost into a greenhouse.

JACK: Some of the plants might get too cold. Maybe. Probably not, I mean, it wasn’t a lot of frost. Plants are tough.

BUNNYMUND: Wrong. Answer.

Jack tries to wriggle out of Bunnymund’s rage gaze, laughing nervously.

JACK: Why don’t I just go see Professor Dunbroch? Get her to organize some kind of punishment, maybe sit through a lecture on responsibility?

Bunny keeps his angry-face on and nods.

Jack backs out of the greenhouse.

JACK: Don’t worry. I’ll get today’s notes. I’m gonna get caught up. Those plants are probably fine. They’re probably fine.

BUNNYMUND: Stop. Talking.

The greenhouse door closes behind Jack, and Bunnymund regains his composure. He nods at Hiccup.

BUNNYMUND: Looks like you’re short your partner, today. Work with Rapunzel.

Rapunzel nervously twirls her hair and whispers to Bunnymund.

RAPUNZEL: Uh, Professor Bunnymund? I gave you a note from my mother? She explicitly stated that she didn’t want me doing any unit work with a partner.

Bunnymund looks less than amused.

BUNNYMUND: It’s just Hiccup.

Hiccup smiles awkwardly and waves at Rapunzel.

RAPUNZEL: Well, sure he looks harmless enough at first glance, but he could be some kind of brigand or spy, or even a secret assassin tasked with killing me and cutting off my hair. _You can’t tell by looking_.

BUNNYMUND: You’ll be fine.

RAPUNZEL: I’d really be more comfortable—

BUNNYMUND: Alright, class. Late starts mean harder work. Nature’s got her own schedule and she doesn’t care what we think of it. Now, gloves, hats and masks. This can get a little messy.

Rapunzel stands next to an encouraging Hiccup, but shoots him nothing but nervous and suspicious glances. She picks up a pair of pruning shears and holds it like she intends to protect herself with them.

Hiccup is weirded out.

 

* * *

 

Merida is at the Gryffindor table at lunch, talking animatedly to Astrid who’s sitting beside her like normal.

MERIDA: All I’m saying is that it was a wee bit… intense. I thought he might feed us all to a dark god, or maybe conclude the lesson by _stabbing somebody_ for dramatic effect.

ASTRID: He’s the crazy teacher. I keep telling you, he’s just like that.

MERIDA: But I think he’s crazier than normal this year. It might be my imagination but it’s probably not. I’m _very_ good at picking up on subtle emotional cues.

Astrid spots Anna heading their way.

ASTRID: Oh! There’s Anna! I want to talk strategy!

She waves at her.

ASTRID: Anna! Anna! Come sit here!

Anna, nervous but excited, puts her tray down beside Astrid, with Astrid between her and Merida. Merida smiles.

MERIDA: Hello, Anna! You remember our friend, Flynn.

Across the table, Flynn is staring at them, unimpressed. He has a massive bandage on his head.

ANNA: (Remorsefully) Hi.

MERIDA: Flynn, you remember Anna, don’t you?

FLYNN: (Deadpan) How’s it going?

ANNA: Sorry… about your head…

MERIDA: Don’t apologize to him, his skull’s thicker than concrete. Stop apologizing on the field, too. Never say you’re sorry. Ever.

ANNA: That actually seems like a bad habit to get into…

ASTRID: No it’s not. Because if you’re sorry, it means you were wrong.

FLYNN: It can also mean that you’re trying to atone for something you did, possibly that knocked another person unconscious. And an apology like that might go a long way towards smoothing things over.

Anna nods gratefully, while Astrid and Merida look at Flynn like he grew another head.

MERIDA: What are you talking about?

ASTRID: Do you need to go back to the nurse?

Flynn looks at them with his stone-face, then starts to eat his lunch.


	5. Chapter 5

 

 

Elinor and North are having a friendly disagreement on their way to a staff meeting in the Headmaster’s Office.

ELINOR: When you can explain to me how baking cookies educates pupils in the use of magic, then we’ll put the course on the curriculum.

NORTH: Will be like toymaking! There is a special enchantment to Christmas cookies, you can’t deny.

ELINOR: It’s more of an abstract than an actual enchantment, isn’t it? Like chocolate on Valentines. Not actually magic.

They stop at the celestial statue that guards the staircase.

ELINOR + NORTH: Sweet Dreams.

The statue begins to rotate, allowing them access. As they climb the stairs, the discussion continues.

NORTH: But there is value in practical skills! All life is not spellcasting, and what will happen if they lose their powers some time for some reason? If there is cookie baking in their workshop, then they will not starve. Is good thing.

ELINOR: If you can get enough interest by next term, I’ll let you make it an evening extra-curricular for the winter. Alright?

NORTH: I will take it!

They arrive in the Headmaster’s Office just as evening is falling. The room is full of telescopes and astrological charts. Already waiting for them are Bunnymund, Gobber, Maximus (who does his little horse salute when he sees Elinor), and Troll Pabbie.

North points his thumb at Maximus and whispers to Gobber.

NORTH: How does horse do stairs?

GOBBER: Search me.

Elinor opens the window shutters and organizes a series of lenses and mirrors throughout the room. As she finishes, the night gets deeper blue, and the light of the not-quite-full moon hits the lenses and reflects through the room until a mini-moon is visible hovering over a central pedestal.

ELINOR: Is this everyone who was asked?

BUNNYMUND: Everyone but Sandy.

PABBIE: I’m certain that the sandman will bring us a warning. The forest has been restless.

ELINOR: The forest is always restless. I’ve never seen that forest be calm and normal. You’re going to have to specify.

PABBIE: The animals hide during the day, strange spirits hang on the air. There are new energies in the river, and it is colder – much colder – than it should be.

BUNNYMUND: Not hard to figure out what’s making it cold. Do you know that little piker froze my greenhouse this morning? I was _this close_ to hitting him with a boomerang, but I’m pretty sure that’s actionable.

ELINOR: It’s also child abuse.

BUNNYMUND: He’s not a child. He’s some kind of winter demon.

Pabbie shakes his head.

PABBIE: The cold came before Jack Frost. It has been getting stronger each year, little by little, but this year… The leaves began to change in August.

Everyone looks concerned.

The pair of grand doors in the upper office swing open, and Sandy strolls in. He waves cheerfully, but notices the long faces and tilts his head to one side.

NORTH: There is bad feelings in the air.

Sandy nods solemnly and hands Elinor a large book full of Dreamscript.

ELINOR: (muttering) Oh good, the wee pictures that nobody can read. How helpful.

The symbols above Sandy’s head start firing rapidly, illustrating stars, moons, werewolves, dragons, nooses, snowflakes and books. Everyone looks on blankly. When he’s finished, Sandy nods and smiles like everybody’s on the same page now.

GOBBER: Did anybody get any of that?

Everyone looks a little ashamed and uncomfortable. Sandy face-palms. He goes to stand next to the moon pedestal, and uses his dream sand to illustrate an eclipse.

ELINOR: Oh! An eclipse!

NORTH: Aha!

BUNNYMUND: Hold on. That’s terrible news.

Sandy nods excitedly, pleased that people are catching on.

Elinor’s face falls with realization.

ELINOR: Oh dear.

 

* * *

 

Flynn is gliding down the hallways in a happy mood, when a burly arm reaches out from an empty classroom and pulls him inside. The Stabbington brothers have grabbed him, one of them is holding him up against the wall and the other is pointing his wand right at him.

STABBINGTON 1: You know what’s really funny?

FLYNN: (Desperately) When people put lox on their bagels to stop them from being stolen?

STABBINGTON 2: Huh?

STABBINGTON 1: He’s just trying to confuse us with his fancy word-play.

FLYNN: I would never!

Stabbington 1 smacks the back of Flynn’s head against the wall.

FLYNN: Please don’t do that, my skull is very tender right now.

STABBINGTON 2: Yeah. We heard you got roughed up at _Quidditch practice_.

Flynn looks relieved, like this is all a misunderstanding.

FLYNN: Is _that_ what this is about? Well then, I don’t understand why you gentlemen are so angry.

STABBINGTON 2: Cuz we gave you money not to join the team. You took that money. And now we find out you’re on the team.

FLYNN: I didn’t have a choice, because there was an elective shortage – through no fault of my own! But I assure you, the only thing more guaranteed to sabotage the Gryffindor Quidditch team than not having Flynn Rider play keeper, is having Flynn Rider play keeper.

STABBINGTON 2: I don’t get it.

STABBINGTON 1: He’s saying he’s going to throw the game. Aren’t you, Rider?

FLYNN: Yes I am. I am going to throw the game.

STABBINGTON 2: And if you don’t throw it?

FLYNN: (uncertain) I will give you back your money?

STABBINGTON 1: You’ll give us twice what we gave you. And we’ll break your nose and turn you into a muskrat.

FLYNN: A _muskrat_?

The Stabbington with the wand jams it into Flynn’s cheek.

STABBINGTON 2: Yeah. A muskrat.

FLYNN: Message received.

View of the hallway. The classroom door opens, and Flynn is pushed into Kristoff, who’s carrying a bag of carrots.

KRISTOFF: Ooof!

FLYNN: Sorry… reindeer guy.

Flynn looks the scene over.

FLYNN: Are you allowed to take that many carrots?

Kristoff looks a little panicked.

KRISTOFF: Please don’t tell Big Bunny.

 


End file.
